Be strong.  You are the boss.

“Because I said so” works, for a while.  When they start asking “Why”, give them as honest an answer as possible, but little lies are sometimes necessary. 

Example
Kid: Why do I have to go to bed?

Real Reason - Mom & Dad want to have hot, wild sex.
Answer to give - Mommy and Daddy need to talk about Xmas (vacation, birthday, etc.) plans.

*If they think it will benefit them, kids are more willing to cooperate.

Put it on your list

If kids see something at the store or on TV  (damn you, Moon Sand), tell them to put it on their list.  Think of the next occasion.  Christmas, Birthday, Hannuka.  Sometimes they forget all about it.  Not my daughter – she remembers and we have to add it to her list when we get home.  When the occasion comes around, you have a list of gift suggestions for family and friends (if they ask).

Give them a choice, but not too many

Easy way or Hard way is a choice.  They get to choose the way the task happens.   You can also ask “do you want to put your shoes on or do you want me to put them on.”  “Do you want this shirt or that shirt”.  Giving them a choice makes them feel like they have some control over their destiny. When giving a choice, use closed ended questions. 

Do you want an apple or banana?
Do you want the blue shirt or green shirt?

 

Easy way or Hard way

Let them know that they are going to have to do what you want/need them to do – regardless of their crying and whining.  Like brushing their teeth, putting their shoes on – whatever it is.  I say, “you can do it the easy way or hard way”.  I usually never have to elaborate.   I have put shoes on a screaming child before – that was the hard way.  It only takes once or twice, they usually comply afterwards.